Letters to the Editor
"Real" letters from our crazier fans and customers.
You're Going to Hell!
How can you people at EH sleep at night? Your site is an affront to the sensibilities of the good, decent people in this world. You know you're going to hell, don't you? -Name withheld
Editor: At least one of us is, yes. A couple of us are still holding out hope.
My dog Has a Soul
Dear EH, I've enclosed a photo of my dog so you can see just how sweet she is. She's getting up in years and won't be with me much longer. Why, why, why can't I use my Emergency Baptism Kit to baptize her? -Dog Lover
Editor: We agree that most dogs are more worthy of getting in to heaven than most people who call themselves Christians, but we don't make up the rules. You could always start up a religion that reveres animals as much as humans. Oh yeah, that's been done.
Super-size me!
Dear EH, have you thought of selling super-sized Emergency Baptism kits that can handle hundreds of victims? I keep worrying that I'll be on hand one night when a bus loaded with illegal immigrants slides off a hillside. I'd run out of water and punch cards before I could baptize all the victims. -Anxious to Save Souls
Editor: most illegal immigrants are Catholic and were baptized as babies. Worry about being on hand when a bus load of scientists goes off a cliff. You can stretch your punch card spaces by only baptizing the ones that believe in Intelligent Design.
